OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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