OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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