You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize