i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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