Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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