Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I fill condoms, not promises.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
