He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize