Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
