Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
