i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize