I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
