we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
