bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
