I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
