he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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