Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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