Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
BRING THE BAGELS
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
