I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
