I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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