And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
