Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
