Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
