So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
