Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
