theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
