Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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