Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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