If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Let's get the cat blown out
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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