This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
