Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
