So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
