Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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