Is it normal to miss your booty call?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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