paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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