if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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