no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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