I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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