i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
