batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
