Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
