sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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