I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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