Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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