She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just blew my weed a kiss
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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