if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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