I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
