i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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