i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
