did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
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