we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
