just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i out mim tonsoeep
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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