I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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