she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
