so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
