I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
