There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
