Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
