he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
