I have demons in me.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
