just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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