so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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