No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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