wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
